[opening theme music]
Would somebody please cue that bird
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah ♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni? ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Right on! ♪
♪ They're stepping out crime and You know that ain't bologna ♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche ♪
♪ He's the leader of the bunch Right! ♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch ♪
♪ And little Polly Esther ♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me! ♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade ♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover ♪
♪ This cat gets down, down With a love hangover ♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're so bad ♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had ♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese ♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese ♪
♪ Stronger than dirt ♪
♪ Step on their tails ♪
♪ Get off my tail ♪
♪ And you're going to get hurt ♪
♪ Don't hurt me ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town ♪
♪ Three, two, one ♪
♪ The Pizza cats Are on the run ♪
♪ The Big Cheese Is the villain ♪
♪ Who's lower than low ♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo ♪
♪ We got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes ♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script ♪
♪ We might begin the show ♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high ♪
♪ And if you want The full effects ♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
[splash]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
[Al Dente] We have an important assignment
and you have to guess what it is.
[all] Is this some kind of trick question?
I heard a big shot is due home today, is that true?
Hm-hmm.
And we have to protect him, right?
-[grunts] -So who is it, some movie star?
Princess Vi' mother!
[all] That brat has a mother!
[comical music]
[Princess Vi] Oh! This is so exciting!
I don't know what to wear!
Let's see. She's been gone five years.
Maybe something casual.
I better dress up, she may have brought me an expensive gift.
[narrator] We interrupt this tender moment of greed
to set the record straight.
Empress Frida went away to study other cultures.
She did not leave because her husband
is a raving lunatic
and her daughter would rather shop than eat.
The empress's ship is about to dock.
You'll be in charge of security during her visit.
-Understand? -Right!
[original theme]
[beeps]
[Francine on P.A.] We are about to launch the Samurai Pizza Cats
on a special mission.
Insurance regulations require that you stand behind
the white line until blast off has been completed.
Otherwise, you may suffer disfigurement
and massive internal injuries.
Have a nice day!
Standby.
[buzz] [gunshot]
[successive gunshots]
[narrator] Hey! She fired one too many times.
Is she shooting dummies into the air?
Uh, don't bother to answer that.
Looks like the friendly skies are filled
with more bodies than usual.
Al Dente must had snuck out to the launch pad
when we cut away for that exterior shot.
I should have known he'd find a way to pad his part, well
two can play that game, we'll blast you out of a cannon.
What?!
You coward! Don't you want to be a star?
Yeah, but not a shooting star.
I want to fall apart after I retire.
[Mama-San] If we don't get more screen time,
you are going to retire sooner than you think.
Why did the empress go away?
Was there some kind of scandal at the palace?
And what makes you say that?
The empress simply went away to study other cultures,
-that's all. -She sounds wonderful.
Yeah, real refined lady.
An elegant woman of Goracian beauty.
Not like Polly, you know.
-Hmm? -Right! I'll bet she's got
great manners and never eats with her hands,
-not like Polly. -And most important,
I bet she never loses her temper.
[screams hysterically]
[all] Whoa! Whoa!
[all scream]
There! I'll show you who is a lady.
[crowd cheers] [fireworks explosions]
Wow! This is more exciting
than a ticket to the Pizza Pool.
-Or the Pepperoni Parade. -I can't wait to meet her.
I heard somebody say she's a great lady,
very noble and dignified--
Oh, look! Here she comes.
-Mother! -[mumbles]
[crowd gasps]
Hi you suckers! How's tricks?
-That's her? -[Empress] What's the matter?
Didn't you have anything better to do
than come down here and see if I've gained any weight?
Huh?
[both gasps]
That woman is our noble empress?
Mother, it's me! Princess Vi!
What? It's my snuggle bunny. I can't believe it!
-You've gotten so big. -That's right Mama!
-Almost as big as you. -Oh, really? Ok, then
if you think you can take me on, sweetheart,
here comes my special flying bunny attack!
Pardon me.
[Princess Vi] Come on, you missed me, Mom!
You'll have to be faster than that!
I'm not that gawky little girl
you used to kick around the palace anymore!
[shrieks and laughs]
[crowd gasps]
[both shriek and laugh]
Good work, sweetie.
But let's see you dodge this! [explosion]
[giggles] Whoa!
Here comes some more! [shrieks and laughs]
[giggles]
[crowd screaming]
[explosions]
Here is the last one! [shrieks]
[Speedy] No Princess! Not over here.
You're going the wrong way! [Princess Vi screams]
[loud explosions]
-Mama! -You remember what I taught you.
Yes. Say please and thank you
and kick the other guy before he kicks you.
This woman is a complete fruit cake.
Why didn't you tell us?
Would you have taken the job if I'd told you the truth?
-Fred. -[laughs] Fred, darling!
-You came down to meet me! -[moans]
-What a surprise. I thought -[moans]
for sure they'd have you locked up
in a padded cell by now.
Did you miss me while I was gone?
[mumbles indistinctly]
Fred, you're such a kidder, weeee!
-[Fred moans] -[Empress] Weeee!
Maybe we should do something to protect the Emperor.
-Huh? -Hold on. I don't think
he's being attacked.
If he gets much more of this friendly greeting,
they'll be nothing left of him.
[narrator] Now that you mention it,
what does this woman see in the Emperor?
He's goofy-looking, he's demented,
-he's boring-- -He's rich!
[cats scream]
Oh, brother.
[moans]
Hey! Where's the Big Cheese?
He was supposed to be here to greet the Empress.
[narrator] Well, your close. What he actually said
was he be here to greet the ship on which the Empress arrived.
Well, what I said was, "There is something on the ship
I need to carry out an evil plot."
Monster of the day, would you enter and sign in, please?
[squeaking] [metallic clanking]
[robotic voice] I'm here to do your bidding.
Command me as you wish Lord Big Cheese.
Yes, the first thing I'm going to want you to do,
is find the woman who kicked me off the subway the other night.
There I was in disguise on my way to the weekly meeting
of Evil Dictators Anonymous,
when the train pulled in to the main terminal.
I've nearly given up hope of finding a seat,
when lo and behold, a spot opened up.
Just I was settling in, this dame appears out of nowhere
and blindsides me.
I nearly got trampled to death by that crowd
of vicious commuters.
Now, I'll have my revenge.
[narrator] Let's cut to the chase, shall we?
What we have here is a secret weapon
A robot made up to look like a typical shopper
in search of a bargain.
What Big Cheese plans to do is hypnotize
hoards of real bargain hunters and turn them loose
to pillage and destroy department stores
in their search for discounts.
The only problem with his plan is
the robot isn't strong enough yet to pull it off.
That's why they're searching the ship.
They're looking for a magic crystal
that's been smuggled on board.
A crystal with great power.
You got it Bob.
Is the crystal on board, or what?
It's missing.
[gasps deeply]
Don't tell me that. It's got to be there.
-It's not. -Then look harder!
Maybe it got knocked out of its hiding place
while it was being loaded,
or when the ship hit a big wave.
If you don't find it, there won't be any evil plot
-in this episode. -[Empress] It's in here
somewhere. Ah, there we go.
This is a gift for you, darling.
[mumbles indistinctly] [all] Whoa!
very good, dear.
Is there something in there for me?
Don't move, Fred.
Now let me see. I'm sure I brought you something, dear.
Oh, I've been looking for that.
-This is for you, Al. -I'm speechless, my lady.
-[screams] -Gee whiz!
I'm going to put it in my living room.
[Bad Bird] We've searched the whole ship.
Where could that crystal be?
-[Princess Vi] Here it is! -Huh?
This is the gift you brought for me, isn't it?
[magical noise]
Hey wait a minute!
How peculiar.
-I don't remember bringing that. -[squeals joyfully]
it's so beautiful, Mama.
-I can't believe it! -[gasps]
-Well, you're welcome. -[laughs]
Seeing her like this shows me a whole new side
of the princess. I guess she's not such a brat after all.
-[Princess Vi] Hey pizza face! -Huh, you talking to me?
-Yes, you. Parmesan brain! -What?!
[grunts] I should have known--
Take me to the jewelry store. I'm going to have
this crystal made into a necklace
so I can wear it all the time.
When the boss finds out, he's going to have a fit.
[humorous music]
What's the matter, Pizza Pus?
Can't you find the jewelry store?
How about taking a long walk
-on a short plank? -Now, now.
Yeah, let's not forget who's the adult
and who's the kid around here.
[cats laugh]
What a mess. I have to get that crystal back.
But if I get to close to the princess,
I'm going to be in a world of trouble.
-Mom, this is Bad Bird, -[honks]
he and I are going to get married.
Wait a minute! No, no!
You two make a perfectly charming couple.
["Wedding March"] [Empress] Congratulations,
darling! And remember, you have to let him know
who's going to be the boss in the family.
I am, and don't you forget it.
No, no, no!
[screams indistinctly]
I'll find another way to get the crystal back.
[narrator] Well, he'd better hurry. They're almost
at the jewelry store.
Hold on. I'm hungry.
I want some peach ice cream with chocolate sauce.
[cats gasp] You'll have to wait
until we get back to the palace.
I can't wait that long. I want ice cream right now!
You hear me? Or I'll have to send you to Prisoner Island.
But Princess, there's no ice cream store around here.
Then you go find one, big mouth!
It's not our job to run errands.
Where is the nearest ice cream store?
I think there's one about 15 blocks east of here.
[narrator] We know you'd like to stay
and hear Polly give directions
but we need to point out that the Ninja Crowes
are closing in on our heroes.
-[crows caw] -Fifteen blocks you say?
That's cool.
[whimpers]
Ok, that's peach for my daughter
and one scoop of razzle berry for me.
[scream]
[Speedy screams]
[scream]
[screams]
-Poor Vich, huh? -Yeah.
[moans and groans]
No fair. we weren't ready for a sneak attack.
[Speedy whines] Oh, my head.
Ouch! Something hit me.
She must have thrown me through a wall.
[gasps]
[screams] No! [crash and glass shatters]
[mumbling] One scoop of peach
and one scoop of razzle berry, please.
Yes, sir.
Times up.
[screams] [thud]
-Oh, good work. -Did you forget
the chocolate sauce?
[moans]
I have to come up with some kind of plan.
I have a plan and I think it's foolproof.
Oh, really?
Don't know why I didn't think of it before.
[narrator] This could be trouble.
I hope our heroes have their wits about them.
Or somewhere nearby.
[Jerry Atric] Excuse me, Your Highness.
[all gasp]
[laughs sinisterly]
What do you want?
Oh, not much. I've come to ask the princess
to return our crystal.
Your crystal?
Who says so?
Oh, it's our all right.
It was being sent to us on the same ship
by which your mother arrived.
Somehow it got into her luggage by mistake.
I knew I didn't buy that thing.
It doesn't matter. She gave it to me!
It's mine and I'm not going to give it up.
You have to find yourself another crystal.
Oh, but you plan to use it in an evil plot.
Who blabbed? Huh. [clears throat]
Of course, we don't expect you to give it to us for free.
-We're prepared to make a trade. -No, no! Let me go!
Who would trade for him?
-Me, me, me! -That's what I thought.
You rats put me down!
Mother, that's the man I'm planning to marry!
[shrieks] No way!
What a good idea. Sounds like he's all for it.
I'd rather be burned at the stake!
Don't mind him, he's upset.
What you say, Princess? Is it a trade?
-Don't do it, Your Highness. -Huh?
Sounds like a good deal to me.
Can I take him home now?
Let me go! You're nuts.
[screams] Princess!
Well, I'm glad the plan meets your approval, your highness.
Please, give me the crystal.
Why should I? They both belong to me now.
Huh?
Good Violet. That's my girl.
-Press your advantage. -I told you this wouldn't work,
you idiot! Now look at the mess we're in.
Hey, what's that up in the sky?
Now's my chance.
That's it. I'm out of here. Find some other chump, I quit!
Hey, what fun! Let's go get him.
[cats] Huh?
Are you with me?
Yes, mother. For a man who's getting married,
he has a bad attitude.
You think we should go after her?
I guess.
-Can I say something? -[cats] No!
I'm losing control here.
They'll never catch me.
I didn't go through four years of training
at the Crow Academy for nothing.
Come back here! You belong with me.
[funky music]
Just forget it. If you try to climb up here,
I'll fly away! Go on home!
Hey, mother. What do we do now?
Don't worry. I've got an idea.
That witch. She knows that when crows
see something sparkle, they're drawn to it
against their will. I've got to resist.
You did it, Mama! You got him back!
Now we can print the announcement!
Read my beak, I don't even like you.
You'll get over that in a few years.
I won't last that long.
I give him two weeks.
[Princess Vi] Of course, we'll need a house
in the country and one in the city.
I think the one in the country should have formal gardens
and a pool. Oh, and a tree in front.
Something big so the kids can play in it.
What did I do to deserve this?
[Princess Vi] You must have been a good boy.
-[Bad Bird] Yeah, right. -Hmm?
-[grunts] -[cats gasp]
-Where did it go? -[Jerry Atric laughs sinisterly]
Now that we have the crystal, we'll rule the world.
[cats] Never!
Get that crystal back to me. it's mine!
No! Forget it.
That's the way, boy. Show that little cheater
who she's dealing with.
Three cheers for the bad guys!
Now I can destroy the city and be home in time for dinner.
Spread out!
Huh? Where did they go?
[Speedy laughs sinisterly]
Huh?
[Speedy] What's the matter bozo, too fast for you?
Maybe you should be fitted for glasses
or retire to the old crooks home.
[grunts] Oh, you squeaky clean midgets.
I'll tear you apart!
[Guido Anchovis] My, my. It's very rude
to raise your voice in the presence of ladies.
You should clean up your act. We'll be glad to help.
Our mission is to triumph over evil.
So if we hurt you, it's only because we love you.
You know you can't ever beat us.
We're the stars of the show.
Get it?
Would you mind taking this crystal?
Use it to boost up your power level
then wipe these guys out.
[narrator] Uh, oh. Our heroes are in trouble now.
With the addition of the crystal that robot
becomes invincible, impregnable
and indestructible.
We needed to hear that. Thanks a lot.
[narrator] My pleasure.
Did I also happen to mention
that she'll be omniscient, omnipotent
and omnivorous?
Well, that's that. The important thing is
help is on the way as usual.
[gasps]
[screams]
Oh, no! She's going to sneeze!
Somebody do something, this is serious!
[explosion] [screams]
[all scream]
See what I mean, you idiots?
The writers will never let us get defeated.
Now you're going to have to pay the price
for your evil intentions.
You may think we're all dummies
but you're wrong. We're acting dummies
playing pretend dummies.
[narrator] You can say that again.
And now through the miracle of modern special effects,
you're going to see how we transform
one of these simple acting dummies
into a dynamic
super hero!
This is the end of the line.
Eeya!
[explosion]
Time to take a bow, Pizza Cats.
Ta-dah!
That was great! You look pretty good
for a bunch of dummies.
You don't even try.
Hey, what happened to my fiancé?
I guess he got blown away.
I got away from her in the nick of time.
What do I do now? My team tried to trade me
in the middle of a season.
Help! I'm a crow without a gang!
Ugh! Every time I have a foolproof
plan, some fool messes it up.
That's the last time I hire goons
from the secretarial pool.
[explosion]
[narrator] And as the sun sinks slowly in the west,
we say good-bye to Bora Bora.
Oops, wrong show.
Anyway, now that we've saved the world,
we can concentrate on more important things
like who keeps leaving the cap off the mayonnaise jar.
That was a lot of fun, dear.
It's always fun when you're here, Mama.
Are you going to stay for a while?
I'll probably be leaving again soon.
-Why? -Why? Because I forgot
to get you a gift. Don't you want something
from a faraway place?
Uh-mm. You're the only present I want, Mama.
When you're here, I don't need anything else.
Except some new jewelry.
[narrator] And so as the sun continues
to sink slowly in the west,
we says good-bye to Bora Bora.
Ok, so it's not the right show.
Still makes a great ending.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Samurai Pizza Cats
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note
their antics take your breath away.
Like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed,
we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to the [explosion]
ole Pizza cat, please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
we know you'll fight like
Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ We hope you liked the show It's the best that we can do ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you ♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know ♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show ♪
♪ Hahaha ♪
♪ Oh, gosh ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're fighting crime ♪
♪ Oh, yes, all over town ♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight ♪
♪ Why do we expectorate? ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Read all the credits so You'll know who did the work ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪